Studying is all that occupies my mind now. I really want to do well in the upcoming CT1 this week. I don't want to be like last year, fail more than 2 subj. I wanna make my parents proud. I wanna prove to them that i can improve from last year & be satisfied with my results. For now, English, Literature, History, Geography is still okay for me. But Science and Maths.

I've been disappointing myself again and again this week. Failed a science test this week, 14/30. Even though everyone just says 'aiya, fail by one mark only' etc. It still gets into me. Like comparing my results with others, who all averagely scores around 23-25/30 really makes me feel very dumb. I know the only thing that i can do now is revise, clear anything that i don't understand. But it's just all those Chemical Equations, Chemical formulas that i don't understand. I really don't want to fail this sub, because i know that apart from English, Science plays a very important part in streaming this year. And the other improtant subj, is maths.

This week, got back a math test paper. I scored 13/25. VERY DISSAPOINTED. I was speechless when i recieved the paper back. To pass that paper, i needed to get 19. Because it's 75% pass for maths. To pass that paper, i need 6 more marks. It's seriously not easy. (Please don't say 'Sec 2 maths only can be how hard ?' cause maybe because you're older than me and have come across harder maths, but consider during your sec 2 level, it can't be that easy.) And just today only, there's this mock math paper which i'm very sure i'd fail. I just went to revise with Lising at the library yesterday (It helps a little, thanks ALOT, I mean it. If not maybe today i won't be able to complete a single question.) I still could forget some of those formulas to get the answer. I was already stuck at the 2/3rd question. I really can't bear to see what kind of results i'll get. Mr ong will scream his lungs out, I'm sure. And yeah, math club, here I come.

I know i need to focus. CT1 is comming. I'm scared for Science, because I'm afraid that i'll forget the chemical values, the charge, all those science shitty chemical formulas. I'm scared of maths, because the paper is set by Ms Julie Tan, the setter for today's mock paper. And unfortunately, (I just realised) these two papers will be tested on thurs on the same day. Someone shoot me please zzz.

I really WANT to do well, I've been studying really hard this week in preparation for next week's common test. Which explains why I've been missing for 5 days consecutively studying every night, revising & revising but somehow it won't get into my brains.

In conclusion, I'm goona do whatever i can this week to drill myself so that i can at least pass maths (75%) and science (60%), but maybe it's just a big fat bloody hope. Please, let God be with me. Guide me through this tough time. Let me have a little more confidence in myself -.- And F-O-C-U-S during lessons!!!! (I feel like changing my seat in class. Maybe should start requesting.)

OKAY PEOPLE, BE PREPARED TO SEE A TOTALY 100% VERY GOOD GIRL THIS WEEK.
(Wah, so full of confidence seh.) Nope, I'm just trying to build up my confidence. =.=

Ahh, I'll stop wasting valubale time here, posting stuff no one will read, but who cares, at least i feel better now that I've poured out all my fears for the comming exam. Please keep your fingers crossed for me & wish me 100,000,000,000x goodluck ('cause i really need it)

AND ALSO ALL THE BEST TO EVERYONE HAVING EXAMS ! <3 (Yes, I know the wohle world is going to do better than me.)

(Be back after the exams, 27th, I hope the next post after this is going to be a happy one and not a regretful, heart-wrenching one.)

Once again, no matter what results i get, i promise myself to not be too sad, but continue to work harder. (Ahem, some self consoling sentence to make me feel better on the 27th.)

Alright, bye (: